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The other evening I was
having a typical tussle with my
five-year-old son over whether or not he
could take his fire-truck into the bathtub
when it happened. I opened my mouth,
intending to say one thing, and the words of
my mother popped out of my lips instead! Oh
my, when did I start sounding just like mom?
I’m sure as a mom you
can relate! How many times have you told
yourself “If I’m ever a mother, I’ll never
do _____________ like my mom…”. And one of
the most painful things for a woman to hear
is the casually tossed “You’re just like
your mother…”
I know there are many
women whose relationship with their mom has
been very painful, and there are others who
have never had the chance to know their
moms. Others of us have had what could be
described as a “normal” relationship – part
good, part bad, and part interpretation!
I’ve been thinking about the mom/daughter
relationship a lot lately, as we await our
second child – a daughter. “Will she grow up
to be like me?” I wonder? “And, if she does,
is that a good thing?”
Daughters share many
traits with their mothers. For example, my
mom and I both have the same skinny calves,
an affection for dumb puns and an uncanny
ability to recall the lyrics to every show
tune ever made. But beyond those genetic
similarities, there’s no denying that her
subtle influences have contributed to me
becoming the person I am today.
There’s one thing
that’s certain: your relationship with your
mom –good, bad or indifferent – shapes and
molds your very personality. Maybe it
prompts you to strive for the same
qualities, it might hold you back from your
true potential, or perhaps it pushes you to
achieve something more than your mom was
ever able to reach.
Asking some healthy
questions about your relationship with your
mom can do much to help you in your search
for excellence as a mother and a woman.
Instead of wondering “did I grow up to be
just like my mom?” consider answering the
following two questions:
1. What one personality
trait of your mom had the most influence on
your life? For example, my mom taught me how
important it is to make a person feel
valuable. I’ll never forget how my mom
praised and supported my first attempt at
writing poetry when I was about eight years
old (“boxes, boxes everywhere, on the ground
and in my hair…well, you get the idea).
Mom’s unwavering belief that I had talent
from the tender age of eight contributed to
my decision a year or so back to finally
write that book I’d been wanting to for
years. It would definitely have been more
difficult without knowing that at least my
mom believed in my value as a writer!
What character trait
(good or bad) have you observed in your mom
that has most influenced you? Has that
quality prompted you to achieve more than
you would have otherwise? Perhaps it has
kept you from following the same path. Maybe
it just makes you laugh. Whatever it is,
it’s helped make you the person you are
today.
2. What one lesson has
your mom taught you that has carried with
you over the years? My mom instilled a love
of learning that I will be grateful for the
rest of my life. She never said “it can’t be
done.” Mom was able to tackle any sewing
challenge I threw at her – Halloween
costumes and prom dresses that many other
moms would have given up on. Sure, she had
the talent, but Mom was able to take her
aptitude to the next level by believing
there had to be a way, researching the
possibilities, and giving it a try.
While I never did
inherit my mom’s creative sewing skills, I
hope that I can use her “never say never”
attitude to enhance my writing talent, and
pass on her thirst for excellence to my own
children in whatever they become interested
in. Can you pinpoint any lessons your mom
taught you over the years that have helped
make you a more fulfilled woman?
So, did you grow up to
be just like your mom? Who cares! The more
important question is: have the qualities
your mom shared and the lessons you learned
helped you to make your own way in the world
– in your own way? This Mother’s Day, as you
look back at your relationship and all of
the lessons you’ve learned from your mom,
take a moment to give thanks for the chance
to use those lessons – good and bad - to
develop the traits and ideals you want to
pass on to your children. Then, if all goes
well, they can make their own way in the
world – in their own way. What a Mother’s
Day gift for everyone!
Author Bio:
Sue Dickinson is the author of
What’s a Mom to Do? Overcoming the Urge
to Put Your Life on Hold and the creator of
www.UnlimitedMom.com, designed to
celebrate the many facets of Mom. Because
when you recognize them all, your
possibilities are unlimited!
NOTE: The article above titled "Did I Grow Up to Be Just Like Mom?" was provided by a
visitor to "The New Parents Guide" and is the opinion of its author
Sue Dickinson. "The New Parents Guide" does not guarantee the information to
be factual. Always use the guidance of your child's doctor
or your health care provider over information you read on this site or elsewhere; your doctor knows what is
best for you or your baby.
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