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I am
often amazed thinking about how some children seem to “learn” to play. Before I
became a parent, my conception of children at play was simple and perhaps
stereotypical. I imagined the ideal; my child would one day sit and play with
his toys, enjoying the different tasks each one presented. Playing should be
easy. Playing would be fun. I have since learned that, for many children, the
concept of play is by far innate. Many, including my daughter, require
assistance developing the imagination and ability to explore playtime and enjoy
it as it should be enjoyed. The following article summarizes how parents can
lead their children along the journey of playtime and also provides some
examples of techniques I have found useful while raising and playing with my
daughter, now two years old.
Imitation is crucial while developing the skills necessary for play. This is
perhaps the simplest statement that can be made concerning children and play.
Children learn language by listening to others. Tying a shoe is learned when a
youngster is shown the process. Play is no different. It is important for
caregivers to tune into the kinds of play that their child prefers and shape it
accordingly through imitation. For example, my daughter could live without
anything bought on a toy store shelf. Give her a copper pot and a spoon and she
is an instant “chef”. A broom in hand and laundry basket nearby makes her a
maid. Calculators, writing tools and paper make her “Daddy’s little girl”
(a.k.a. an Accountant). Interestingly enough, she was not taught how to
use any of these common household devices in their correct manner. However, they
soon became her preferred method of play. Realizing this came after she watched
and watched and imitated her parents – playing at the same time. It sounds
elementary. But it took my husband and I several months to stop buying as many
manufactured toys and start accepting the fact that our daughter preferred to
play by watching her parents, hence imitating.
Group
play can be quite challenging for some children (and parents). I first
became a member of a local “playgroup” when my daughter was 11 months old. I was
thrilled because I was able to socialize with other mothers while the children
played. This was indeed the case during the initial meetings, as the children
(all without siblings) learned what it was like to be grouped with others their
age. During this phase, the children hovered close to their parent and did not
perform much interaction. As the weeks progressed and the children grew a bit
older, the playgroup gatherings displayed less signs of “Mommy talk time” as
more attempts at “playtime” were made. Group play, like individual play, does
not come natural for all children. Toddlers, for example, are too young to grasp
the concept of sharing. Add a strong willed toddler (as my daughter is) to a
group play setting, and what may be viewed as a disaster can arise. Thankfully,
our playgroup consisted of mothers who had a lot in common – including the
compassion necessary to console a parent when a certain level of parental stress
was visible. One important tip that may aid during group play may be to become
conscious and not view the gathering as only social time for the parents.
Conversation with adults is needed and rewarding, but children need to be guided
through playtime and it is important that they are not left to “teach each
other” in a group setting. Suggesting that at least one parent stay directly
with the children – getting involved with the activities – will allow for more
that just supervision, it will direct them and provide them with a model to
imitate throughout their play date.
A
creative parent teaches incredible things. When it came time to teach my
daughter how to play, I found myself struggling to “make up” appropriate games
and situations that kept her stimulated. Now that she is two, I look back and
realize that I put too much stress on myself during this time. One must always
remember that, in many cases, children are seeing things for the first time.
Even if this is not the case, children seem to have a magical way of
transforming what may be seen to an adult as dull or tedious into something
fascinating and challenging. I remember seeing my daughter’s face when I filled
our kitchen sink with bubbles one day and gave her a cup so that she could
“scoop ice cream”. She was not only in awe of the bubbles (one of her favorite
things), but also amazed at the fact that this was her operation; she was
in charge. I personally encourage the use of creative dress, drawing devices and
homemade ice cream (i.e. bubbles) during playtime. Your child may amaze you with
his interpretation of what you present.
You need
to go with the flow. Children develop unique strategies for play based on many
things. The techniques they choose to imitate and adopt and their own individual
personalities are two factors at play (no pun intended). My daughter has
recently entered a phase where her concept of play is based largely around
clothing and her ability to master the art of dressing. I admit, using several
articles of clothing a day can cause parental frustration (not to mention a lot
of laundry) and there have been many occasions where I have wanted to put a lock
on my daughter’s bureau drawers. But this is her idea of play. And if you look
at the notion closely, you can see a little girl becoming many things -
independent, imaginative and thought seeking above all.
In a
world where child development often seems to pass in the blink of an eye, it is
important to allow children to be children and encourage them to develop their
own ideas and concepts regarding play. Through the guidance and imitation of
their caregivers, children can develop approaches to playtime that will satisfy
their needs and allow them to develop individuality. Fun, exploration, education
and play – it’s what childhood is all about!
Author Bio: Deborah Duggan is Co-Owner and Editor
of
www.parentsresource.org, a website showcasing family-related businesses and
services in New Hampshire. She lives at home with her husband and daughter in
New Hampshire.
Other articles by Deborah Duggan:
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Other Helpful
Articles:
NOTE: The article above titled "Children
and Play" was provided by a
visitor to "The New Parents Guide" and is the opinion of its author
Deborah Duggan. "The New Parents Guide" does not guarantee the information to
be factual. Always use the guidance of your child's doctor
over information you read on this site or elsewhere; your doctor knows what is
best for your baby.
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